Helping Trans People Address a Sense of Foreshortened Future

“I can’t see my life past age 18.”

“I just didn’t expect to live past age 20. So now that I’m 21, I don’t have plans, and I don’t know what to do because everything is a mess.”

“I’m 45, and 5 more years just feels impossible.”

I cannot count how many people have expressed sentiments like these to me. While anyone can experience feelings like these, many of the people I have worked with who share accounts like these are transgender. When we dive deeper into their experiences, they continue on to discuss their belief that they wouldn’t be alive by a certain age. Many trans people I’ve worked with have expressed their assumption they would die by suicide and escape the pain of living in a body that doesn’t fit who they are. They may have felt as if there was no point to making life plans if they weren’t going to be around to see them through,

This common phenomenon is referred to as having a sense of a foreshortened future. It can occur with or lead to feelings of hopelessness, despair, and pain.

Foreshortened Future

A sense of foreshortened future includes the overwhelming sense you just aren’t going to make it past a certain age. A person may feel as if their life will be cut short, that they will be prevented from living a normal life span with typical life experiences, without any real explanation as to why.

Feeling this way can bring about feelings of depression, hopelessness, and isolation. But a sense of foreshortened future can also stem from those feelings of hopelessness and decrease a person’s motivation. If there is no future ahead, why work hard now? Why put time and effort into school or work, or attempt to save money, if there will be no point to it later?

A sense of foreshortened future includes the overwhelming sense you just aren’t going to make it past a certain age. A person may feel as if their life will be cut short, that they will be prevented from living a normal life span with typical life experiences, without any real explanation as to why.

For people who are trans, a sense of foreshortened future may stem at least partially from the discomfort and dysphoria they may experience. Many trans people report feeling a great sense of dysphoria that can be oppressive to the point they aren’t sure how they’ll survive any longer. Gender dysphoria, which describes the conflict between gender assigned at birth and the gender a person identifies with, may be experienced by some as a feeling of being trapped in a body that feels wrong.

The intense expectations placed on a person’s physical body can affect their life in an extremely negative way. When it comes to prescribed gender roles, society tends to have different expectations for males and females (and often fails to take into account other genders). These expectations are often troubling and problematic to many people, but they can often affect trans people to a more serious extent.

For example, a person who is male but was assigned female at birth may often face standard societal expectations of wearing a dress on their wedding day, becoming pregnant, and raising a family. But the words bride, wife, mother, and woman may feel alien to them. A future based on those gender roles might seem impossible, and the very idea of it may cause significant distress.

Working Through Sense of Foreshortened Future in Therapy

When this is the case, what can be done to help ease the sense of foreshortened future, hopelessness, and suicidal ideation that can occur?

First, make sure people have access to information. Supplying people with information about the gender spectrum, including the fact that gender is not limited to the male-female binary. Some people may not be aware that others also identify as nonbinary or gender-fluid. This knowledge can be-life changing for people experiencing gender dysphoria or questioning their gender identity.

One place to start can be helping questioning people understand their experience, perhaps by providing them with education on what it means to be transgender. The relief and elation a person may feel when they first learn there are other folks who have felt isolated in their body, like a “girl trapped in a boy’s body,” vice versa, or like neither “girl” or “boy” describes their experience of gender, is only the beginning.

Next, exploring the options with them. Perhaps they may decide to transition socially or medically. Guiding people to the understanding that they can live authentically can help break down any barriers that may have hindered their ability to see a future for themselves. Some people may identify in specific ways but choose to make no transitions. Their identity is as valid as everyone else’s, and therapeutic guidance can be of great value as they explore how they will live their life to the fullest within their identity.

Living life as one’s authentic self may also involve some tough conversations. One example of this might be talking to a family member who has never had a conversation about the gender binary, let alone spectrum, and believes being LGTBQIA+ is a choice. People in therapy may want to learn how to respectfully provide education, promote awareness, or politely avoid these conversations altogether. A therapist can provide beneficial, and crucial, support throughout this exploration.

Other general tools may be useful as well. Asking a person what kind of house they want to live in, the car they’d like to drive, or the career they’d like to have can all help them engage in planning for the future. Working with people in therapy to create vision boards or identify inspirational role models can also help encourage them to start thinking beyond the here and now. Enhancing forward and future thinking and encouraging goal-setting can help people develop tools to fight against the sense of looming blankness that can develop.

People experiencing a sense of foreshortened future are all around us. It is essential for therapists working with trans folks to take the time to help them understand their options and also link them with community resources, such as support groups and LGBTQIA+ resource centers. Community support, in addition to work with a trained therapist, can be pivotal in helping people enhance their quality of life.

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